If Only

As teens, David and Demi had a wonderful relationship filled with love and trust, coupled by shared dreams for the future.  One careless night resulted in a chain of events which would change their lives forever - causing them to move forward in life with different partners, each having a couple of children.


However, at the time Demi left, she carried a secret she had hoped to stay buried forever - the knowledge that she was pregnant with David's child. Secrets, as we know, have a way of exposing themselves and the same is true in If Only.


When the secret is brought forth, it is Demi herself who informs David of the events which transpired long ago. Why? She has become desperate to find her firstborn child. She feels concerned, feels that something isn't right. She can't say she feels her child is in danger but she feels she is in trouble, somehow. In times past, Demi would think of the day she gave her daughter away and would shift her mind away from the memory but it hasn't been happening lately which adds more anxiety to her already overwhelming life.


My heart ached as I watched Demi react after the second detective called, telling her he had no luck finding the child she had put up for adoption so many years ago, that the child wasn't where she was supposed to be. I could feel my heart racing, even feel blood rushing to my head, as I watched Demi pick up the phone to call David - the one private investigator she knew who would never give up until he had the answers he sought.


I wondered how he would react. I wondered about their families and the implications it would have, knowing already David was not one to go about looking for his firstborn child behind his wife's back. At the same time, Demi's husband had put her on a pedestal and I couldn't help but wonder how he would feel when the knowledge came to light.


Complications arise at every turn from the moment David answers the phone. Not 24 hours pass before David's life is changed forever, before Demi goes through her own level of heartache.


Hearts are shattered and lives are torn but, in the midst of it all, I witnessed emotions so raw they became my own. My thoughts became one with the various characters I came to know. I was at war with the way I felt the story should end. It has been a long time since I've read a story which made me feel so conflicted in so many ways, yet feel such peace by the time the story finished.


If you would like to read more about If Only - perhaps to check out the reviews or if you think you might enjoy reading the book, please visit If Only's page on Amazon


Note: The book reviewer and author of this title are one and the same. However, just as I've gotten used to talking about myself in third person (since becoming an author) I've grown used to speaking about my books as if they were written by another author. The simple truth is that, if I didn't like something I wrote, I would work on it until I loved it before I brought it to your attention. That being said, as much as I enjoy my other published works, I can't help but wonder if I enjoy If Only most - perhaps because it has so many elements of reality in it - but it's really a tough call to make.